Sunday, April 8, 2012

A Good Man

Roger M Watt - April 8, 1914 - March 27, 1981

My father was a good man.  He was born in Oklahoma 98 years ago today.  He grew up during the First World War and the economic boom of the 20s.  When the bust happened, he moved to Los Angeles with his family.  In 1934, he met my mother at a Halloween Party.  He was 20, she was 15, and he was in love for life.  The raven haired, dark eyed beauty won his heart and his devotion. When my mother became bedridden with tuberculosis, he visited her every day, bringing her books from the library and news of the world.  They married on Father's Day in 1939. 
During the final years of the Second World War, my father was drafted into military service and left my mother with her parents - pregnant with their third child and my brother Jim and sister Judie.  He contracted malaria in the Philippines and spent most of his service in a hospital in Hawaii. 
On March 27, 1946 my parents and their three children moved to Grants Pass, Oregon.  This is where I was born, the youngest of their seven children, where we would all grow up and go to school and church, stay or leave or come back again. 
I was living in Portland when my father died.  It should have been one of the happiest times in my life.  I was loving school.  I was young and beautiful.  I was a featured performer in a new play.  I was 21 years old and my heart was broken.
Even after all these years, it's hard for me to put into words what my father means to me.  He loved me unconditionally.  He loved everyone unconditionally.  He believed in service to his fellow man.  He was devoted to my mother and to each of his children.  He would rather lay on the floor surrounded by small children than have a serious philosophical discussion.  I never heard him say a bad word about anyone - save Richard Nixon.  He loved auto racing, football, and ABC's Wide World of Sports. 
As a little girl, I remember climbing up into his lap as he watched the evening news and leaning my head against his chest.  I felt safe and loved and happy.  Saturday afternoons meant going with him up to the church to prepare everything for the coming service day.  I loved slipping my hand into his and walking through the empty church, knowing God was there watching us.
I still remember how full that church was on the day I had to say good-bye.  So many people were touched by his simple life.  Everyone cried.  People came up to my mother weeping and wondering how they were going to get by without him. 
I know he's still with me, still with us.  I hear a certain honest laughter and he's there.  I hear a man jingling the change in his pocket and he's there.  Someone calls out "Grandpa" and runs to receive a big hug and he's there.  I slip my hand into his and walk through the streets of my day and know that he's there.
Rod Watt was a good man.  He wasn't rich or powerful or heroic - except he was.  Rich in friends and family, powerful in love and compassion, heroic in giving everything for anyone less fortunate than he.  I miss him every single day.  I love you Daddy.

Friday, February 3, 2012

There Be Dragons

So we're one month in to 2012 and it's been kind of rough.  The election mudslinging has started early.  Long term relationships between non-profit organizations are threatened by political machinations.  Major companies pretend to support one lifestyle, cave when threatened by a PAC, then switch again when public opinion cows them.  It's going to be a long year.  I can see lots of unpopular ideas being promulgated and lots of "facts" being tossed around to prove one side or the other as right/wrong - good/bad.  And so I thought I'd make my position known and just refer anyone who wants to drag me into their battle to this post for the next several months.
Like Martin Luther King Jr., "I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down men other-centered can build up."  I was raised to believe that all people deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.  That unless I am willing to walk in another person's shoes, I have no business telling them what they should or shouldn't do, be or shouldn't be, have or shouldn't have.  I was taught that education and culture are key to building dignity, equality and freedom.  I was taught to vote with my heart AND my mind, to listen to others argument and position when it is done with respect and honor and willingness to listen to mine. I was taught to be willing to compromise when the good of all was more important that what was good for me. I was taught to build up others, to believe of them what they may not believe of themselves.  And to show what is possible when people are willing to let go of the past, let go of the pain and look toward a better tomorrow.
And so, let me clear about this.  I will not take part in any movement or campaign that has at its core the stripping of rights from ANYONE, the tearing down of ANYONE, the vanity and self centered nature of ANYONE.  I will not vote for someone because he or she is the lesser of two evils.  I will commit to looking beyond the sound bites, the advertising, the PACs, the money being thrown at me to convince me of a position that I know in my soul to be self serving, petty minded, ignorant and designed to tear down the very heart of a country and a people I know can do better.  I know can be better.  I know ARE better.
I will not listen to arguments that young people are lazy, apathetic and self seeking.  I know many, many young people and every one of them is committed to their education, their future, their family, their country. In spite of the difficulty they are facing in finding work, finding homes, finding comfort, they believe in their ability to change things for the better.
I will not listen to arguments that retirees are bleeding the country dry because they failed to plan for old age and long term medical care.  I watched my mother go from a house that she owned out-right, to apartment after apartment, to assisted living, finally to foster care - at one point having to give away every last dime she had in order to qualify for Medicare to pay for her care.  There has to be a way to allow our citizenry to age with dignity and grace and give back to us from their years of living and wisdom - not to be discarded and forgotten. 
I will not listen to arguments that say someone is not entitled to love another, to marry another, to raise a family because they are gay, straight, poor, rich, native or immigrant.  I will not listen to any argument that places one human being above another.  This is a deeply held core belief for me and I will not allow it to be violated.  All beings deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.  Love one another is the core belief of every faith.  And I can love you even if I don't understand why you are where you are on the path.  All I ask is that you grant me the same - love me even if you don't understand my path.  Until you walk it - you cannot know it.
Our system is broken.  Our country is broken.  Out of our brokenness can come so much good - but only if we are willing to work together.  We must stop yelling at each other and begin to listen.  With our hearts and with our heads.   Love.  Just love.  Love One Another.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Movie Madness - MELANCHOLIA

From the opening moments of Lars VonTrier's latest film MELANCHOLIA (2011), I was hooked.  The exquisite extreme slow motion movement is beautifully orchestrated by Wagner's Prelude to Tristan and Isolde.  We see a bride moving as roots tear at her feet, a mother clutching a child, a horse laying down all as two planets come hurtling toward one another to the inevitable end - the consumption of one planet by another.  It's only later that we learn the larger planet is Melancholia and it is headed toward Earth; because after this beautiful prologue we are thrust into the marriage of Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgard)*.  Justine and Michael are late for the very elaborate reception being hosted by Justine's sister Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband John (Kiefer Sutherland).  As the evening rolls on, it's clear that Claire is hanging on by the thinnest of threads and Claire and John are frustrated by her reluctance to put on a good show for everyone. 

When Justine becomes aware that there's clearly something wrong with this planet hurling through space, things do indeed unravel, but not as one might expect.  Justine seems relieved that things will be ending and her pain of living can be over as well.  Claire and John are willing to accept the predictions of science that Melancholia will just pass by Earth and it will be a terrifyingly beautiful happening.  The more likely the end appears, the more they unravel. To most, melancholy is a thing that passes briefly and fills one with gratitude that all the days are not thus. To those of us, and I count myself among those, who have experienced true melancholy know that it is the pain of trying to be free of it and act like everything is fine that is the most awful thing.  The struggle to be heard and seen and experienced, the need to have our special vision acknowledged and respected are more painful than the pain of being swallowed up. 

With VonTrier, one is always better off to let go of the reason why and give over to the experience of his films.  There's message here, to be sure.  But it is the beautiful way in which he presents the end of the world that gives the message its true impact.  MELANCHOLIA is a beautiful thing indeed.  A top notch cast lead with powerful performances from Dunst and Gainsbourg and stunning visuals make this melancholy a thing to be experienced. Brief appearances from John Hurt, Charlotte Rampling, Stellan Skarsgard and the wonderful comic relief of Udo Kier as the wedding planner make this a good solid film. Let go and let it wash over you.    
In theaters now - but also On Demand with major cable providers.  If you have a good home system, you can save yourself a few dollars. 
*in a tux...can I just say "Yummy."

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I may have to move to Massachusetts

Elizabeth Warren

So remember how I was ranting about how everyone needs to do their part or this country isn't going to be better.  Elizabeth Warren, who was bashed in her Senate hearings and is now running to oust Scott Brown from his seat in Massachusetts, summed it up beautifully for me. 

My favorite part is "But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."  That's what I think this country has lost sight of.  It's a social contract that we agree to in how things will be done here.  The past few decades have been full of finger pointing and blame and not a lot of agreement.

I just don't think that things will get better until we all agree to - well - as I like to say...put on the big girl pants and get to work.  I may not like EVERY decision, but if I can see that your position is for the greater good of the country, I can agree to work for it.  The ME generation has to grow up now and realize that it's a WE that makes this place a great place to live and work and raise a family.  So let's work together.  And support more people like Elizabeth Warren who are willing to speak truth to power.  It's is the only hope we have.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Fair and Balanced

I'm a Libra, you know, the lady with the scales.  I spend most of my time trying to find balance in my world.  I bend over backwards to be fair.  I try to see things from other perspectives and use reason and logic to present my arguments.  Lately, I seem to be living in a world where crazy is the norm and rabid emotional outburst is the voice.  I get it people.  Things are messed up and we need to find a better way to run things or there's going to be a pretty major revolution or repression.  Either way  - it doesn't look good.
I live in an apartment complex with 16 units.  In addition to our rent, we all pay a portion of the water bill.  In the summer, we pay a little more because the landscaping has automatic sprinklers. Now, I live alone.  I run my dishwasher once, maybe twice a week.  I shower every other day. I could claim that because I use less, I should pay less than the family two units over with 2 children who surely use more water than I do.  But I don't.  Why?  Because the system I agreed to when I moved in was that our water is not based on individual use, but on a communal use.  Right now, I use less.  At some time, I may use more than my share.  But I agreed to do my part.  And so I do.
I view my taxes in the same way.  I pay my part and I have an expectation that when I need the services my taxes pay for, they will be there for me.  My roads will be maintained.  Schools will be operational.  Courts and police will be there should I need them.  Fire services will be there if I need them.  I've been on food stamps once in my life, and it probably saved me from starving.  It was only for 2 months, but I needed those 2 months and when I didn't need them, I moved on, knowing that someone else might need them more than I did.  When I was in college, I had PELL grants and NDSL (National Direct Student Loans) to help me pay my way.  When I got a job, I paid the loans back.  As I approach my retirement years, I EXPECT to have some assistance from Social Security and Medicare. I've paid my fair share into these programs and I have an expectation of something back IF I need it.  Other programs for seniors, food programs, housing assistance, utility programs, I would hope they will be there.  But if they aren't because other, more urgent programs need the funding, then I will accept that as fair.
What I do not accept as fair is the notion that other people can avoid paying their share because they have more money than I do OR they don't agree to what the money is being used for. I don't agree that persons who make more money than I do get to decide who gets to benefit from this system.  I don't agree that any one party, religion, sect, ethnicity gets to decide what is best for everyone.  We are NOT a democracy, we are a republic of REPRESENTATIONAL government.  We elect our officials to WORK TOGETHER for the good of all.  Not just for the wealthy, not just for the corporations that lobby for their support.  LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
There are plenty of programs I don't agree with, but it's the agreement I made with my government.  I will pay my FAIR share and in return, you will be there if/when I need your help with something I cannot do alone.  If I never need those services, fine and dandy.  But I agreed to be part of the system.  And I agreed that other people could be part of that system.  I agreed that their part of this system isn't their ability to pay, pray, marry, work in the same way I do.  I don't know why I work 8 hours and at the end of the day I still worry about paying my bills.  More than once in the past year or so, I've looked to the heavens and had to decide - do I eat, pay this bill, buy my prescription, or put gas in my car.  And I know that I'm doing pretty well by many, many people's standards.  But I never stop looking for a way to stretch my dollars - or get some extra by selling off things I no longer need.  I'm almost out of options, much like our nation.  I live pretty lean.  Sure, I can make some small cuts, razor thin slices in the whole picture. 
That's why I know that CUTS are not the way to fix what is happening in government.  It's part of it, sure.  There are some very minor, razor thin cuts that can be made.  But it will not have a big impact.  People who have gotten away with not paying their fair share, and I don't care if those "people" are individuals or corporations, need to step up and contribute for the good of all and not just for their own good. 
"The end of democracy and the defeat of the American Revolution will occur when government falls into the hands of lending institutions and moneyed incorporations." Thomas Jefferson 
My friends, I think we are there. 
Yes I know there are those who abuse the blessing of this country, and in time we need to correct that.  But until our schools can properly educate and inform, until our manufacturing can produce goods AND jobs for those educated, until we can ensure that every man, woman and child can enjoy the fruits of their labors and share in the happiness of community, we gain nothing by taking from those who have nothing.
"The purpose of government is to enable the people of a nation to live in safety and happiness. Government exists for the interests of the governed, not for the governors."Thomas Jefferson
We need Mr. Jefferson again.  We need those in government to remember who they work for.  We need government to return to the basic duty allowing us to live in safety and happiness.  And if they don't listen, we need to take their jobs away from them.  Because they aren't doing it.  And I really can't take it anymore.